Do you hear people snickering as they leave your house?  

Are you a slave to faux foliage and Formica?  

Is the plastic  still on your lampshades?  

Are there colors in your home that don’t occur in nature?  

(Keep scrolling down!)

Go ahead; admit it.

You’re among friends, and we’re here to help.

Cast away your doubts and position that crown,

 ‘ cause honey,